I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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