i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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