i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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