im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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