You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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