I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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