That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
