and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
