You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
40s are totally the cure
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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