i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
