So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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