Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
