Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
