i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
