So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
My penis needs a shock collar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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