She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
