There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
