Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize