These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
