I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
