oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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