paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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