Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
it glows. i had to have it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize