Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
