then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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