I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
