he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
