The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
