I love black thongs
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
