ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
