thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
