ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
