Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
