she pinky promised me she was 18
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
