New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
