Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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