I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize