I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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