he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
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I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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