Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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