p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i've created a new STD.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
