Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
