she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
