Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
