Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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