Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
