problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
