I wish I only lived at night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
