dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
