Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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