Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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