I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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