If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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