if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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