Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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