weddingsv make me drug and hornr
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
