You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
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had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
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