You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize