you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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