I just saw a hot homeless man
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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