I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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