There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
