i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
